The BandAid Strip
Place of hope, healing and new beginnings!
Are you in love?
Are you in a happily-ever-after kind of love?
Or are you still lonely, single and miserable?
Fact is: LOVE (to love and to be loved) is one of our basic survival needs and, therefore, a separation, breakup or divorce can leave you with emotional chaos: confusion, hurt, rejection, loneliness, bitterness, feeling lost and overwhelmed beyond measure.
LOVE makes us better people because first comes the feeling of love - that silly, happy, warm, fuzzy feeling that puts a permanent grin on your face. So, love has the power to change your facial expression. In other words, your appearance and even your attitude.
Then comes the thinking part where your thoughts are joyful, full of affection, kind and tender, respectful, uplifting, protective and hopeful when you think about your loved one. So, love has the power to change you from the inside out.
Love, however, is a verb. To love is to do something, meaning we show our love through our respectful caring actions: to impress, to spoil, to share, to make happy, to show appreciation.
So, love has the power to give you a facelift, a spring in your step, an energy boost, temporary insanity and turn you into the sweetest person on the face of the earth. It miraculously affects us physically, spiritually, emotionally and on every level of our existence.
But, while our biggest desire is to be loved (feeling worthy and needed), our biggest fear in life is the fear of rejection (feeling unwanted and worthless). All through history possibly millions of books, poetry, shows and songs have been written on love and the loss thereof.
Truth is, we all want to be happy and that is why we want loving relationships, health, wealth and success. Normally, when we are in a loving relationship or marriage, we expect all the above to be embraced by that particular special relationship ... until a breakup or divorce destroys everything: all the promises made, all the sweet memories, all the dreams and expectations, as well as the happily-ever-after.
While love has the power to add value to our lives, divorce has the power to destroy the value and replace it with rejection, failure, stress, heartache, loneliness and, once the divorce lawyers are done with you, poverty!
The one thing nobody needs after a breakup or divorce is a rebound sleepover or inferior substitute relationship.
That is why the first thing you need to do after a breakup or divorce, is to give yourself time to mourn your loss, to heal your pain, to get rid of your anger and to restore your inner balance.
The second thing is to accept the fact that your love and relationship changed you as a person, your marriage changed you once again and your divorce or breakup finally changed you once more. In other words: you are a changed person indeed. Don’t deny it. Own it!
The third thing you need to do is to take the time to get to know yourself all over again, the NEW YOU. Decide what you now need, what you don’t need, what you will tolerate, what you will never allow again, when will you need it, how will you find it, etc.
Then, whenever you are ready, you get back into the dating game. But remember: your emotional scarring and experience dictate that you take it slow and remain cautious. Most of all, empower yourself with knowledge. Find out what works and what doesn’t work. Learn to play the game without getting hurt or wasting your time.
But ... and this is a BIG BUT ... maybe it is time you not only get to know the new YOU, but also the way the opposite sex thinks and behaves. Think about it: Men! Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. They never grow up and they make us old before our time. Yet, we eyeball them, admire them, flirt with them, lust after them, yell at them, forgive them, chase them away, take them back, drink to them, drink because of them, love them, hate them, but do we really know them?
The problem is that men aren’t that easy to understand. They are just soooooo different from us because women are hormonal and complicated, and men are basic. And when you do find a great guy, he doesn’t come with an instruction book or R.T.I. manual. Above all, great guys are so hard to find, you cannot afford to lose one because of unnecessary dumb mistakes. That is the reason why we need to learn to handle situations differently.
Maybe it is time for our perspective on men, dating, and relationships (including marriage) to change and this could well mean the difference between being happily in love or singularly miserable.
Think about it: wouldn’t it be nice to skip dozens of dates with lame and egotEstical men and fall right into the arms of the man you really want?
Wouldn’t it be great if you could captivate a man with your kind heart and witty attitude, never again to be treated like a temporary brainless sex object?
But, first you need to learn to read the warning signs of a bad future relationship FAST to prevent you from wasting time and emotional energy on a man who isn’t right for you.
We, women, have a huge problem in common. We look at a man and we see the face with the smile and witty come-ons, the biceps, the buns and we see POTENTIAL before our hormones start munching on our brains.
We never stop to ask ourselves: POTENTIAL FOR WHAT? To be an exciting and romantic lover, to be a faithful husband, to be a supportive life partner, to be a co-provider, to be a life-line in times of trauma, to be a stunning father to our children? No, just pure POTENTIAL and then we start planning the wedding. We do not even hesitate long enough to plan a possible divorce as well!
After six years with the same cruel, selfish, narcissistic, abusive, drunk, fat miserable porn addict we married, a divorce lawyer helps us to realise that the love of our life still has POTENTIAL ... to emotionally scar you for life, to reject you, to humiliate you, to spread lies about you, to threaten you, to try and steal everything from you! It is still POTENTIAL, the exact same potential we saw 7 - 8 years earlier with the exception this is not an illusion anymore, it is REALITY!
BUT ... and this is a BIG BUT: if we learn and teach ourselves to be wide awake and alert, to know how love really works, what we want, what we need, and what we are willing to tolerate in a relationship or marriage (dealmakers & deal breakers), then we are half-way to the happily-ever-after-finish-line already.
AND ... and this is a big AND: if we go through the trouble to find out how their minds and needs work ... now, this is where the fairies come and carry you across the threshold of the happily-ever-after-finish-line!
So, we need A MANUAL - stepping stones to a blissful happily-ever-after:
* something different that will show us how to heal our own past so that we do not drag our old toxic emotional baggage into our new future,
* something that will help us clarify exactly what we need in a relationship/marriage/life partner,
* something that will guide and warn us about what never to settle for,
* something that will explain to us how relationships are supposed to work,
* and above all, something that will educate us about MEN!
Being an old, wise, experienced information gormandiser and research addict, I managed to collect data for many years in order to compile such a manual - for females ONLY!
This e-course (instruction manual) with practical assignments costs only R200 and will be gradually delivered by email over a period of approximately 4 - 6 weeks. These are truly powerful revelations and great fun, and can positively change your life and your future for the better.
If you are interested in signing up, please forward me your email address and we will take it from there: email@example.com or sms/whapp 082 392 1663.
DIE WAARHEID IS: As jy bereid is om jare lank te krap en te soek, navorsing te doen, vrae te vra en mense dop te hou, dan het jy op ‘n dag al hierdie geheime, wenke, lesse, waarskuwings en interessante feite om met ander te kan deel. En dit is presies wat ek gedoen het.
Ek het ‘n e-kursus (of handleiding) ontwerp wat aangepas word vir elke dame se eie persoonlike behoeftes. Hierdie handleiding sal jou help om jou verlede en verwonding effektief te verwerk sodat dit geensins meer ‘n rol in jou toekomstige nuwe verhoudings sal kan speel nie.
Dit sal jou nuwe insig gee in hoe ‘n man se kop werk wat sal help om te verstaan hoe ‘n man se brein en aksies bymekaar kom. Dit sal jou die vertroue gee om die dating scene met nuwe selfvertroue te betree, maar bowenal sal dit jou leer waarvoor om versigtig wees sodat jy oopkop, veilig en doelgerig die romantiese sy van jou lewe kan optel en herstel.
Hierdie e-kursus (instruksie handleiding) kos slegs R200 en word geleidelik (oor 4 - 6 weke) met praktiese werksopdragte per epos afgelewer. Dit is kragtig, insiggewend en groot pret, en kan jou hele lewe en toekoms positief verander.
Indien jy belangstel om in te skryf, stuur gou vir my jou epos adres en dan neem ons dit van daaraf - firstname.lastname@example.org of 082 392 1663 sms & whapp.
Thank you for spending time with me and may success, love, health and peace follow you wherever you go.
'Til next time: be good, be kind and be grateful!
(Your secret friend in need ... 'cos nobody needs to know!)
To all the great guys out there who participated, and even enjoyed, this particular research project with as much fun and enthusiasm as I did - who willingly shared their relationship priorities and expectations, their dreams and desires, their past mistakes and disasters, their wisdom and experience with me ... THANK YOU! Without you, this wouldn’t have been possible.
I even salute the “infidels” who ran so scared of my constant probing into their secret intimate lives, that they disappeared and 11 years later they are still missing in action. Come out, come out, wherever you are, and I apologise for frightening you! :)
Heté Jordaan (Fourie)
Marriage & relationship counselling
D.I.Y. Divorce guidance
Life crisis management skills
(life survival skills)
Life Makeover self-help
(Healing and restoration after
divorce, bad breakup, life trauma)
* Personal consultations
* Practical workshops
* e-Therapy (via email)
* e-Courses - easy, self-help,
step-by-step training (via email)
for all happily-ever-afters out there
(real, imagined or hoped for)
The Bandaid Strip e-course
on Relationship Rescue
Why is healthy self-love the foundation of good relationships?
Why is it important for you to explore your faulty relationship beliefs?
What is the difference between forgivable imperfections and deal-breakers?
Why do people willingly stay in bad relationships?
How to handle relationship conflict in a constructive manner ...
How do you know if you suffer from guy dysmorphia where your perspective and reality clash?
Heartbroken? Do you know how to unbreak your heart so that you can get on with your life?
How to be in a relationship with yourself after divorce, breakup or heartbreak before moving on ...
10 Ways to help you quickly recover after a breakup or divorce ...
BEWARE of the process of brainwashing through abusive relationships!
Verbal abuse: understand the disease and stop the hurt by
healing the damage!
Trouble in the bedroom? Maybe porn is the culprit.
Know when it is time for a Protection Order under the Family Act and how it works ...
The 5 tools that can turn your relationship around ...
The 7 golden rules of effective communication in a relationship ...
The 5 do's and don'ts in a successful relationship ...
Do this quiz and you will know if
your relationship/marriage is going
to survive or not ...
Do this quiz to find the level of chemistry between you and your partner ...
How do you determine if you really want this relationship to work or not?
What are the 10 false beliefs about marriage and relationships that you need to know?
What are the deadliest characteristics of yours that can kill any relationship or marriage?
What are the 10 most powerful keys you can use to ensure you have the happiest relationship/marriage?
What are the 7 positive combat rules for any successful relation-ship/marriage?
What are the most ridiculous excuses we women feed ourselves when in an abusive or one-sided relationship?
How to get back on the dating track
Wat presies soek mans in vrouens?
Hoe weet jy wanneer hy besig is om rond te loop?
Hoe neem 'n vrou emosionele beheer oor 'n verhouding en wen elke geveg sonder 'n oorlog?
Wat is die grootste fout wat vrouens maklik maak aan die begin van 'n verhouding?
'n Eenvoudige 4-punt plan oor hoe om seker te maak jy ontmoet die man van jou drome ...
Waarom is mans so aangetrokke tot selfsugtige en veeleisende vroue en hoekom vind hulle 'n selfsugtige geaardheid so aanloklik (die goeie vrouens kry mos altyd die slegte mans en die slegte vrouens kry die goeie mans) ... hoekom?
Wat doen suksesvolle vroue anders wanneer hulle met mans gesels wat mans geweldig aantreklik vind?
Wat kan jy doen om 'n man maklik te oortuig dat jy sy toekoms is en nie net tydelike afleiding nie?
Waarom verkies mans om vir ewig te date sonder om te commit?
Wat is die 10 eienskappe wat 'n man sal oortuig jy is die enigste vrou vir hom?
Hoe weet jy of 'n man gereed is vir 'n ernstige verhouding en of hy net belangstel in 'n casual fling?
Watter foute maak vroue wat mans verhoed om hulle uit te vra vir 'n tweede afspraak?
PASOP! Vroue het die geneigdheid om emosionele leemtes te veroorsaak wat al hul verhoudings kan ondermyn!
Hoe om die pynlike emosionele afstomping in 'n verhouding of huwelik te voorkom ...
Hoe kan jy jouself as vrou bo ander vroue laat uitstaan sodat hy jou ten alle koste sal wil hê?
Wat is die 3 grootste foute wat 'n vrou maklik in 'n nuwe verhouding maak?
Wat is die maklikste manier om te sien wanneer 'n man té emosioneel onvolwasse vir 'n verhouding is?
Wat is die 3 soorte players daar buite en hoe kan jy hulle vinnig identifiseer?
Hoe weet jy wanneer jy niks meer as 'n one night stand vir 'n man gaan wees nie?
Waarom is dit kritiek dat jy seks weerhou indien jy 'n ernstige verhouding met iemand wil hê?
What is the one major upfront rule you need to set with a man in the very beginning if you ever want a serious relationship with him?
The ten most dangerous mistakes women make that cheat themselves out of living the love life of their dreams ...
Etc. etc. etc. ...