The BandAid Strip
Counselling/Coaching Services

Place of hope, healing and new beginnings!
Relationship problems?
Considering separation?
Inevitable divorce?


STOP!
Breathe ... think carefully ... and beware!

Why is the BandAid Strip's affordable,
convenient and confidential
MEDIATION the
PERFECT SOLUTION to your relationship
problems, separation or divorce?

... because MEDIATION is a powerful and
super-effective rescue tool to prevent
further unnecessary trauma, heartache and loss!


Hetť Jordaan
Specialist:  Life Skills
(Educator/Trauma therapist)

thebandaidstrip@gmail.com
Pretoria 
https://web.facebook.com/
bandaidstrip.co.za

082 392 1663
https://web.facebook.com/
BASyouthprogram

 
Did you know ...

MEDIATION means go-between
and, therefore, couples' counselling (marriage & relationship therapy) is actually a form of mediation?

When two people live together in an intimate relationship or marriage, that level of intimacy permanently changes us.  It leaves an imprint on your heart and there is nothing you can do to prevent it.  That bond between two people can be so strong that it will be messy to sever and it is, therefore, always better to try and solve the problems rather than try to get away from it.

Fact is, relationships in general, and marriages and families in particular, continue to disintegrate before our eyes and we need to do something to salvage it - to pull it out of the emotional swamp.  Giving up or running away is never the best solution.

When your relationship is laced with pain, confusion or emptiness, then it probably means that your communication broke down, or maybe it never even existed in the first place. 

When you feel your relationship has failed, you have tried everything and now you feel tired, deflated and defeated, then it may be time for MEDIATION.  Because, when two people love and live together, they gradually create certain communication and behavioural cycles, especially during an argument or a full-blown fight.

For example:
1.  I donít want to talk about it ... is often code for:  I am tired of trying to discuss the same problem with you while you refuse to listen to me.
2.  You are nagging again  = You keep on trying to tell me the same thing and I still refuse to listen.
3.  Whatís wrong?  Nothing! =  I am so unhappy and frustrated, but I know you donít want to know about it because you donít care.
4.  No, I have a headache or No, I am tired  = I feel lonely, unloved and unhappy, and you donít care.  So, please, donít touch me.
5.  Oh, that old story again  = I still refuse to have a decent conversation with you about it even though I know you need to talk about it.

An experienced mediator or marriage counsellor can help two people to tear down the emotional walls, to open up the communication channels so that the debris of mistakes, wrong perceptions, insecurities, pain, scarring, confusion, anger or frustration can be dissolved. 

TRUTH IS:  While working separately with the two partners in a relationship or marriage, rigidity about thoughts, feelings, behaviours, judgmental attitudes and emotional shut-down patterns can be resolved and love, respect, trust and healing can be restored. 

Once the communication bridge is rebuilt, the two can re-connect on a higher level of a loving, caring and sharing partnership.

MYTH:  You need both parties to save a relationship or marriage.  No, you donít.  Often you only need one willing partner who is prepared to be open to change and personal growth.  ONLY ONE!
  The other party does not necessarily need to know or to participate.

WHY?  Because you canít change your partner, you canít change your relationship or marriage, you can only change YOU!  And by being willing to change YOU, you can change your world!

THE BANDAID STRIP OFFERS e-counselling (please see page 1 re e(mail)-therapy and fees) which involves narrative therapy that helps you sort out your own mind and emotions in your own time, your own place and your own space.  It is extremely affordable, convenient, effective, confidential and even anonymous.

TRUTH IS:  A separation or divorce can leave a hole in your soul ... and possibly in your pocket.
          Considering divorce may cause you to feel extremely lonely, confused, scared and even lost as the balance and peace in your life are seriously disturbed.
          You may need an outlet for your pain, a place to vent - to tell somebody about the inner turmoil and conflict that are draining your energy, leaving you powerless and off balance.
          Divorce often starts as a threat that can develop into a trial separation, after which it can easily and quickly blow up into an embittered war of hatred - sowing seeds of division, disaster and destruction. 

And it hurts.  It hurts like hell!  In fact, it may hurt like hell for many years as in ... forever-after! 

Never underestimate the evil toxic waves of a badly planned divorce as this destructive impact on your life is one of the most common major life traumas of our modern time, and it can easily be one of the toughest emotional nightmares youíll ever face!

Whatever your reasons for a divorce may be, it wonít make the trauma and loss any easier.  The process is stressfully heart-wrenching and the aftershock can be overwhelming.  As the divorce tears up the marriage certificate of your happily-ever-after, it will most certainly tear you apart as well - shredding your self-esteem, your value and belief systems, and your overall ability to love and trust again.

Divorce, in my experience, is worse than death for the pain of betrayal and loss is so angrily intense, and it remains overwhelmingly intense for such a long time.  Once you were partners and lovers, now you are blood-thirsty enemies. 

The person you once loved and thought you knew, does no longer exist, but may be replaced by a vindictive and spiteful stranger.  Suddenly you no longer know what to expect from your former lover ... or even from yourself.  Divorce will change you, guaranteed!

Before you proceed with a separation, a break-up or a divorce, make sure you know your own bigger picture and your own whole story, for there are always things you donít know, donít realise, never expected and never considered.  Get in touch with an experienced divorce counsellor/coach to ensure you are doing the right thing, because often there is no turning back.

WARNING:  If you then know your own whole truth and you still want to proceed with a separation, break-up or divorce, then do it in the easier, kinder and more civilised way as you will otherwise be nursing the scars of hatred, bitterness and loss for many years to come.

Much rather separate for a while, cool down and then decide to do the divorce in an amicable way - in a civilised win-win way!  If you need a divorce lawyer to do the process for you, be prepared to fork out more than you can probably afford.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET DIVORCED?
When there are NO complications and NO children involved, and the divorce is unopposed (uncontested), it can easily be finalised within four to six weeks and it should cost a few hundred rand, but may even cost a small fortune when a divorce lawyer is involved - providing you know where to get hold of your spouse who must live in South Africa.

When there are NO complications but MINOR children involved, and the divorce is unopposed, it can easily be finalised within six to eight weeks and it should cost a few hundred rand, but may even cost a small fortune when a divorce lawyer is involved - providing you know where to get hold of your spouse who must live in South Africa.

However, where a divorce is opposed (contested), it can take two to three years to finalise and it can cost a small fortune up to a few hundred thousand rand as you will pay for the High Court and an Advocate to represent you as well.

INTERESTING FACT:  Your spouse can oppose the divorce, but cannot stop the divorce.  It is the Court that grants a divorce and not your spouse.  If you can convince the Court that the marital relationship has irretrievably broken down, the Court can still grant a decree of divorce even if your spouse does not want to get divorced.

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO DO YOUR OWN DIVORCE?
Yes!  If both parties are in agreement on the terms of the divorce (the settlement agreement) as well as on the maintenance for and custody of any minor children, and both parties agreed upon an uncontested divorce,
then you can easily do your own divorce.

MET ANDER WOORDE:  As jy dus jou gade kan oortuig om NIE die egskeiding teŽ te staan nie, maar eerder sy/haar samewerking te verleen, EN jy weet hoe om die vorms te voltooi en wat om daarmee te maak,
dan sal jy heeltemal instaat wees om jouself 'n fortuin te bespaar en jou eie egskeiding te liasseer en finaliseer.

THE BANDAID STRIP OFFERS an e-book with easy step-by-step instructions on HOW TO do your own uncontested divorce, re:

*  Where to find the necessary forms
*  How to complete the forms
*  What to do with the finalised forms
*  How to draft the Deed of Settlement
*  How to get a case number
*  How to serve the Summons
and everything else you need to know.

You simply have to follow the complete detailed instructions in the e-book that costs only R200.

OOK IN AFRIKAANS BESKIKBAAR.

If you are interested, please send an email to: thebandaidstrip@gmail.com or whatsapp 082 392 1663 to order and for bank details.

ONTHOU:
Alhoewel egskeiding
die wettiese oplossing van 'n huwelik is, kan die ervaring bitter emosioneel, pynlik en traumaties wees - selfs depressie en paniek tot gevolg hÍ.

Dit is dus absoluut tot jou voordeel om deeglik voorbereid te wees en seker te maak dat jy die nodige ondersteuning en berading tot jou beskikking het om jou dwarsdeur die proses te dra.

Dit is belangrik om te onthou om nie die besluit tot 'n egskeiding te neem terwyl jy oorweldig is deur emosies nie.  So 'n besluit word kalm en oopkop geneem sodra jy seker is jy wil beslis emosionele bande met jou gade verbreek.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

Website designed by Hetť Jordaan - 2006

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